This post was written by my wife, T Turk.
While this Hanukkah was definitely different than Hanukkahs in the past, it was wonderful for our family to have had this time together. We fried latkes and donuts and decorated our apartment. We shared past memories and created new ones, gave presents to others and opened presents of our own and Zoomed each night with friends and family.
I know it’s an uncommon feeling but the year 2020 was a true miracle.
We lit the menorah every night. In years past, there were always nights where we missed lighting because our busy lives got in the way. This year, though, we took advantage of the blessing to be able to have this time with E and S. It was so special to see the joy and excitement on their faces each night as we lit the candles and as they became more confident reciting the blessings. I know the true spirit of the holiday can get overshadowed by the gifts, but I think this year I was really able to appreciate the meaning and importance of Hanukkah. 2020 has definitely had its ups and downs but the last eight nights have helped me choose to count my blessings. I have reflected on the good that has come out of 2020 and not only on the bad.
I am thankful to have had this year to reflect and take the time for self-care. I am in the best shape of my life, both mentally and physically. I started running in March; never in a million years would I have ever expected to call myself a runner, but I know I am now. Running and working out has become even more significant in my life because E has been accompanying me on this adventure. Every weekend E and I go for runs together and evaluate them afterward. The runs we do together may not be my fastest, but they are my easiest. The minutes and miles don’t pass by slowly. We talk and laugh. We look for out-of-state license plates, race each other and motivate one another to keep going.
This year has provided me the opportunity to learn alongside my children and instill in them a love of exercising and taking care of our bodies. E is eight and can run a 5k in 30 minutes. We have some of our most meaningful conversations while we are running. We share our feelings and our fears. S is still young, but she jumps at the opportunity to ride her Fisher-Price stationary bike alongside my Peloton each morning. They see the joy that working out brings me and they are excited to immerse themselves in it too.
E and S have grown more this year than I think they will in their lifetime. They have suffered loss and pain but learned to embrace the happiness and joy in life just the same. They have learned to not take things for granted. I only hope they can take these lessons to serve as a foundation for the rest of their lives. I hope they continue to search for joy and happiness in everything they do.
We also adopted our dog, Babka, this year. I remember hearing the popular question about rescuing pets: “Did you rescue the dog or did the dog rescue you?” There is no doubt that Babka – who is lying curled up and snuggled next to me as I write – has been a light in our lives. She joined our family when S was really struggling. The minute we carried the puppy off of that awful truck, she became ours. The joy that she has brought into our home has been healing and restorative. We can only speculate what her life was like before she entered ours but we hope she knows that our home will always be a safe and loving place. The truth is that, no matter what she endured before, Babka definitely rescued us.
2020 has also allowed Aaron and me to reevaluate our relationship. I don’t know where I would be without him this year. The emotional pain of watching Alzheimer’s slowly take my father away from me has been heart wrenching. Aaron has been my rock. He has been my source of laughter (even though E and I both think his jokes are too corny). I’d be lying if I said that we didn’t fight constantly during this year and that the real miracle of 2020 is that we didn’t kill each other. But we have definitely come out stronger because of it. He never hesitates. He never says no. He is always there for me, no matter what I need. He stepped up in ways that I never could have imagined, taking on tasks that I’m sure, if you asked him, he would say he never expected to do. But nevertheless, the does them without any questions asked.
My mom is my true miracle of 2020. She watches her husband, my father, slip away more each day, probably even more rapidly because of the quarantine. But she keeps getting up. Day after day, she gets up. She cares for him often more than for herself. She puts on a brave face, smiles and pretends things are okay. She laughs and plays with my kids, even though I know she is breaking apart inside. Alzheimer’s sucks. 2020, you can have Alzeimer’s. Take it and good riddance. But, if I ever doubted my mother’s strength and determination before (even though I didn’t), 2020 confirmed that my mom is one kick-ass woman. She is the miracle. She is my Judah Maccabee. She is the heroic soldier who stands mighty and tall and never backs down, no matter how much the odds are stacked against her.
As we all watch the last of our candles melt in our menorahs, please find your own miracle of 2020. Let us not dwell on the sadness and pain. Let us not forget what we have lost, but let us also look towards the future and what we have learned from this year. Let us be bigger, bolder, stronger and mightier in 2021.
Chanukah Sameach! 🕎
