Searching For Answers in the Wake of Tragedy

The girl was a quiet student.

She responded when called on, but she was less eager than her classmates to offer her opinions without being prompted. She often doodled during class, either in her notebook or on her arms, and rarely made eye contact with me. At times, I wondered whether she was actually listening to the discussions occurring around her.

During one class session late in the year, we spoke about God’s presence – or lack thereof? – during the Holocaust. The students asked the understandable question: if we, as Jews, are supposed to be God’s people, why would God allow the Holocaust to happen? I couldn’t pretend to know the answer, but I presented the ways in which people’s beliefs were affected by the Holocaust.

I explained that there were some who claimed that the Holocaust was evidence that God could not exist. Their answer to the question was based on logic; God would not have allowed the Jewish people to be persecuted to such an extent if God existed.

Then I added that, even in the face of the Holocaust, some people still maintained their faith in God. I said that they needed to believe that God had some sort of plan and that we, as humans, could not understand why God allowed the Nazis to murder six million Jews. The only way to press on was to believe that there was a reason for the events happening around them.

The student looked up from the intricate ink design that was creeping up her forearm.

“Well, that’s stupid,” she said simply.

She could not accept the idea that an all-powerful being who loved its creations would allow such hatred and violence. Even today, she went on, people continue to commit horrible acts against each other.

“God can’t exist because people just keep on hurting each other,” she concluded.

I maneuvered the rest of the discussion into existential philosophy, a debate about free will and a comparison of faith systems. The student was more engaged during the rest of the class, nodding in agreement as I referred to Nietzsche and Karl Marx. I didn’t try to convince her of one stance or another; that’s not my teaching style. But I noticed her skepticism softening as I offered alternatives to her defense of the absurdity of the human condition.

I’ve heard echoes of that student’s foray into a world without God repeatedly over the past few weeks. A private practice client asked me recently for advice about keeping a positive outlook in the face of mass shootings, climate change and global genocide. My wife and I have struggled with balancing informing our children about current events, while also maintaining our kids’ innocence. And there was this, from a friend of mine:

He posted that tweet, unsurprisingly, the morning after nineteen children and two teachers were killed in our country’s most recent school shooting.

Tragedies like this week’s shooting lead people to question their faith and look for someone to blame. We cannot understand senseless acts of violence and our searches for answers often come up empty. We are all forced to find ways to continue on, despite our distraction, our grief and our heartbreak.

When the aforementioned therapy client asked me how to keep going each day, I struggled to present her with an answer. I admitted that the world can be a scary place and that there often doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason behind things that happen. I even referred to Albus Dumbledore, as he spoke with Harry Potter before the final duel with Voldemort: “Don’t pity the dead, Harry; pity the living.

Ultimately, however, I explained that our outlook is still our own choice. It is our choice whether to focus on the problems facing us or on the actions we can take to fix them. We can surrender to the overwhelming magnitude of the terrible situations we face every day. We can succumb to the incessant messaging that suppresses our ambition and convinces us that resistance is futile. Or, we can celebrate the victories, no matter how small, that we achieve every day on our way to repairing the world.

One of the most effective ways to combat the crippling natures of anxiety and depression is to take action. Those actions can include everything from political advocacy to participating in mental health treatment to simply getting more exercise. Every little bit of effort – even just listening to each other – helps to ease the burdens we carry every day. And that help, as Fred Rogers reminded us, often alleviates the suffering that others are experiencing, as well.

That is not to say that we should whitewash our pain and pretend that it does not exist. It is unrealistic and unhealthy to put on rose-colored glasses and claim that everything is going to be fine. But we also cannot afford to sit back and accept the circumstances presented to us. We must use our feelings – our joy, our anger and every emotion in between – as fuel to keep moving forward.

Even if we cannot guarantee the outcome, it is still worth fighting and pushing through each day to do what we can. No one person can do everything; but every person can do something.

After all, what other choice do we have?

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