My grandfather spoke during the prayer service at my bar mitzvah when I turned thirteen. He waxed poetic about the importance of leading a good Jewish life, learning Torah, continuing to maintain the rituals with which I’d been brought up and, most of all, about success. He had literally spent his life devoted to Judaism, studying to become a rabbi for his Jewish community in India and then moving with his family to Philadelphia to assume the pulpit at Mikveh Israel, the second-oldest synagogue in the United States. Continue reading “Pride in our Success”
Category: Life
Freedom and Rebirth in the Shadow of COVID-19
I could smell my wife’s cooking from outside the front door to our apartment.
She hadn’t spent more than an hour in the kitchen that afternoon; her other commitments to lesson planning, phone calls to her students’ families and parenting didn’t leave time for much more than that. But she made the most of that hour, churning out three different dishes in preparation for our Passover seder – the formal holiday feast – the next evening.
We left when she was finished for our daily constitutional that prevents cabin fever from winning the battle for control of our sanity. I came back a half hour later to retrieve sweatshirts for my family but paused before putting my key in the lock.
I stood outside our door and inhaled the aromas of spice, comfort and love creeping into the hallway. I closed my eyes for a moment, forcing myself to experience the feelings brought on by the sweetness infiltrating the air. The warmth traveled through me like a spring thaw; an appropriate analogy, given the time of year.
But it didn’t feel like Passover. Continue reading “Freedom and Rebirth in the Shadow of COVID-19”
The Spirit Makes Ten
The six men stood facing each other, forming a circle just inside the entrance to the hotel conference room.
Five of the men had met in previous years, though never as part of a religious circumstance. They exchanged pleasantries and introduced themselves to the newcomer. The sixth man was not Jewish – “Nobody’s perfect,” someone joked – but he fit in easily with the rest of the group.
They waited a few minutes, making small talk about the speakers they had heard earlier in the day and comparing notes about family situations. They discussed how many years each had been writing and when they first began coming to the conference. When it became apparent that no one else would be joining them, one of the men lifted the glass of wine from the nearby table and the men fell silent.
“Shabbat shalom,”1 he said with a smile.
Emotional Highs and Lows at Dad 2.0 Summit
The Dad 2.0 Summit has always been an emotional experience for me.
I attended my first conference in New Orleans in 2018 and the weekend was the perfect embodiment of an psychological roller coaster. I read a blog post for all of the attendees and realized I was slightly more well-known than I thought. I pushed myself to attend every session; by the end, I was drained physically, as well as emotionally.
I prepared more effectively for last year’s Summit in San Antonio. I planned which sessions would be the most meaningful to me and focused on developing stronger connections with brands. I also made sure to take time to myself when I needed to, including walking around the city alone one evening.
This past weekend was my third time as an attendee and the charm was definitely on. I knew which panels I was going to attend and which brands would be a good match for me (stay tuned for more content on that front). I also made the most of unstructured social moments, as opposed to only working the business angles.
But on Saturday afternoon, I hit a wall. Continue reading “Emotional Highs and Lows at Dad 2.0 Summit”
The Importance of Being Vulnerable Online
The evening plodded along, minutes gradually blending together to make up the last few hours of a long day. I collapsed onto the couch after running the dishwasher and folding the now-clean laundry. I began scrolling through social media, ignoring the hour and the fact that my time would be better spent showering and going to sleep.
My eyes began glazing over slightly, skimming words and scanning faces as fatigue continued its offensive on my body. My vision sharpened into focus when certain names flashed across the screen and I consumed a few sentences of the posts before moving on.
I stopped swiping at a post from a dad I had met at Dad 2.0 and whose work I’d admired for some time.
“Warning,” it began. “This is verbose and heavy, but it’s time to unload some thoughts.”
I sat up straighter and tapped “Continue Reading.” Continue reading “The Importance of Being Vulnerable Online”
How to Talk to Kids About Life and Death
“I’m not going to lie to him,” she said, turning to me. “He should know what’s going on.”
My wife seemed to expect a different reaction from me but I wasn’t going to argue. I agreed with her; it was better for him to be told the truth. I didn’t want to cover it up and have him start wondering what we were hiding. He didn’t need every detail but he deserved enough information to understand what was happening around him.
This also wasn’t his first experience with death. Two of his mother’s relatives passed away within the last five years. He has multiple friends who have lost relatives. He was three years old when we flew to Chicago for multiple days of post-funeral gatherings for family members of ours. And that is to say nothing of the more public tragedies to which he has been a virtual witness.
“I agree with you,” I said. “He should know where we are going.” Continue reading “How to Talk to Kids About Life and Death”
Keeping Morale High During National Have Fun at Work Day
I’ve heard it said that all work and no play make Jack a dull boy.
My name may not be Jack but I’m pretty sure I know how he feels.
The world of community mental health can be a scary one at times. My coworkers and I are often bogged down in talk of DSM diagnoses, difficult behaviors and challenging family situations.1 Our clients and their families are struggling with the most serious issues, including physical aggression, hallucinations and suicidality. We have to find ways to help our clients cope with these conditions, as well as teach their family members how to encourage their children’s development. We find success at different points along the way but the high points come along a lot less frequently than any of us would like.
Believe it or not, though, I still enjoy going to work. Continue reading “Keeping Morale High During National Have Fun at Work Day”
Coffee Shop Therapy
John took a sip of his latte and leaned back in his chair, letting the warmth filter down through his body. He had had always been sensitive to the winter temperatures – he had become more so since he entered his eighties – but the frigid air outside was nothing compared to the cold he had felt lately from other people.
He watched as a young woman in turquoise yoga pants took the seat next to him. She draped her North Face over her chair and set a laptop on the table next to her coffee. She had just settled in when she stood back up and moved her belongings to a cushioned chair against the wall about twenty feet away.
I hope it wasn’t something I said, John thought to himself. Continue reading “Coffee Shop Therapy”
My Word For the Year
I wrote last year about my distaste for New Year’s Resolutions. I’m still of the same mind; at best, resolutions are an inefficient and unrealistic method of self-improvement. At worst, they’re yet another tool that we use as evidence of our personal failures when we inevitably fail to follow through on them.
I wrote that I preferred the idea of New Year’s Intentions. Intentions do not carry quite the same weight or pressure as resolutions because they are not evaluated on a black-and-white, pass-or-fail basis. And, although good intentions might be the asphalt that leads to the realm of fire and brimstone, the point is that intentions are designed to point our thoughts in a certain direction. That shift in mindset from passive reactions to active choices hopefully leads to more productive and positive actions.
I’m retrospect, though, the intentions still weren’t quite good enough for me. Continue reading “My Word For the Year”
Navigating the Space Between
I was a high school junior by the time I started to really appreciate quality literature and wordplay. It was around that time that I discovered ESPN’s quirky Sportscenter anchors. Rich Eisen, Kenny Mayne, Dan Patrick and John Anderson, just to name a few, were gifts to a teenage boy looking for a way to combine loves of sports, humor and good writing. Chris Berman, in addition to being one of the original ESPN anchors, was larger than life in both his energy on set and his physical size. When many of his colleagues were using catchphrases to liven up their highlights, Berman found his niche by making popular culture references using athletes’ names during his narration.
I loved every minute of it.
The Chicago Bears didn’t produce too many highlights during my high school years; at least, not the kinds of highlights for which they would have been proud. They finished last in their division every season that I was in high school (1997-2000); their best record in that stretch was in 1999, when they went 6-10. Their defense was mediocre and their offense was even worse, largely due to the quality of their quarterbacks. Erik Kramer was in his mid-30s in ’97 and ’98 and at the end of his career. The next two seasons featured the combinations of colossal-draft-bust Cade McNown, the talented-in-college-but-inconsistent-pro Shane Matthews and the serviceable-but-hardly-a-world-beater Jim Miller.
Matthews might not have set the NFL world on fire but he had a few moments in the sun. More importantly, he had a name that rhymed almost exactly with one of the most popular bands of the ’90s and Chris Berman knew it. I can still hear Berman cheering his way through the highlight, describing the Bears scoring play that never came frequently enough.
“The Shane Matthews Band finds The Space Between for the touchdown!” Continue reading “Navigating the Space Between”
