Tag: mental health

Masking the Struggle to Adjust During the Pandemic

Today was a better day.

I feel almost embarrassed writing that sentence. Describing today as “better” means that the other days have been… less so. As someone who tends to present with a generally positive mood, I worry sometimes about showing a different side. The darker, struggling version of myself – the Castor to my Pollux, or perhaps, vice versa – is ever-present, despite remaining beneath the surface most of the time. And, though I’m well aware of the benefits of revealing that side, the admission itself still feels awkward.

My challenges are hardly unique. I spent thirteen years leaving my apartment for work each morning. Anyone suddenly working at home every day can empathize with the struggle to adjust. The pandemic has shifted my paradigm of compartmentalizing out household chores and my son’s school assignments to one where I face both simultaneously each day. Continue reading “Masking the Struggle to Adjust During the Pandemic”

Emotional Highs and Lows at Dad 2.0 Summit

The Dad 2.0 Summit has always been an emotional experience for me.

I attended my first conference in New Orleans in 2018 and the weekend was the perfect embodiment of an psychological roller coaster. I read a blog post for all of the attendees and realized I was slightly more well-known than I thought. I pushed myself to attend every session; by the end, I was drained physically, as well as emotionally.

I prepared more effectively for last year’s Summit in San Antonio. I planned which sessions would be the most meaningful to me and focused on developing stronger connections with brands. I also made sure to take time to myself when I needed to, including walking around the city alone one evening.

This past weekend was my third time as an attendee and the charm was definitely on. I knew which panels I was going to attend and which brands would be a good match for me (stay tuned for more content on that front). I also made the most of unstructured social moments, as opposed to only working the business angles.

But on Saturday afternoon, I hit a wall. Continue reading “Emotional Highs and Lows at Dad 2.0 Summit”

The Importance of Being Vulnerable Online

The evening plodded along, minutes gradually blending together to make up the last few hours of a long day. I collapsed onto the couch after running the dishwasher and folding the now-clean laundry. I began scrolling through social media, ignoring the hour and the fact that my time would be better spent showering and going to sleep.

My eyes began glazing over slightly, skimming words and scanning faces as fatigue continued its offensive on my body. My vision sharpened into focus when certain names flashed across the screen and I consumed a few sentences of the posts before moving on.

I stopped swiping at a post from a dad I had met at Dad 2.0 and whose work I’d admired for some time.

“Warning,” it began. “This is verbose and heavy, but it’s time to unload some thoughts.”

I sat up straighter and tapped “Continue Reading.” Continue reading “The Importance of Being Vulnerable Online”

My Word For the Year

I wrote last year about my distaste for New Year’s Resolutions. I’m still of the same mind; at best, resolutions are an inefficient and unrealistic method of self-improvement. At worst, they’re yet another tool that we use as evidence of our personal failures when we inevitably fail to follow through on them.

I wrote that I preferred the idea of New Year’s Intentions. Intentions do not carry quite the same weight or pressure as resolutions because they are not evaluated on a black-and-white, pass-or-fail basis. And, although good intentions might be the asphalt that leads to the realm of fire and brimstone, the point is that intentions are designed to point our thoughts in a certain direction. That shift in mindset from passive reactions to active choices hopefully leads to more productive and positive actions.

I’m retrospect, though, the intentions still weren’t quite good enough for me. Continue reading “My Word For the Year”

Not My Place

The hallway walls on the twenty-first floor were bare, showing nothing but faded paint and reinforced tinted glass. I hadn’t been to this part of the hospital in close to a year but the maintenance carts and construction tarps to the left of the elevators did not seem to have moved. It was the highest floor in the building but I had long thought that the brown and taupe evoked the image of a dungeon, rather than the penthouse.

I pressed the intercom button to announce myself to the nursing station and sat obediently in the small waiting room to be let in. My eyes lingered for a moment on the sign next to the door – “Caution Opening Door; Elopement Risk” – and I grunted. The phrase had always struck me as odd, as though the staff were concerned that the patients’ first destination if they left the unit would be a seedy Las Vegas chapel.

Her therapist entered and greeted me with a smile and a handshake. We exchanged pleasantries and she led me through a maze of hallways to the meeting room. Our patient was seated next to the table, her mother and grandmother on either side of her and her infant brother bouncing on her lap. I smiled at the family and the two other social workers in the room and made my way to a seat across the table. The baby tracked me as I sidled between the chairs, his expression of skepticism strong enough to rival any teenager’s.

Don’t worry, kid, I thought. I hate having to be here as much as you do. Continue reading “Not My Place”

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